Kitchen Confidential

So now cabinets are out of style.

Cabinets! How can cabinets be out of style?

As I approach 50, I occasionally feel overwhelmed by today’s whirlwind of technology, as if I’m too firmly planted in 1980, or maybe 2005, to keep mastering new digital transformations, be it the latest version of Microsoft Office or what the #sign means before a username on Twitter.


Kitchen cabinets though? Like beds and toilets and forks, I just sort of took their existence for granted.


Then I consulted a maven named Zelko about redesigning my formerly beautiful kitchen, which at 18 has yellowed cockeyed doors, broken drawers and shelves that tumble whenever I stack too much on them. Using a sophisticated computer system and 20 years experience, Zelko designed an updated Gindin kitchen, one that will increase my storage space by 40 percent --and not look decrepit.


I just can’t figure out where to put the stockpot, the towering pile of frying pans, the way-too-big roasting pans or my two beloved Le Creuset French ovens. What about the food processor? The blender? The standing mixer? “No one uses cabinets anymore,” Zelko tells me. “They use drawers.”


Well bah humbug to that. I’m no country granny in a gingham dress, but I can’t grasp this concept. What about the cabinet filled with baking and serving dishes? It’s piled high with glass and ceramic platters, bowls and Pyrex bakeware of all sizes and shapes. Every time I open it up, a nut bowl comes tumbling out, I admit. Whenever I need, say, a cake plate, I have to unload half a dozen fragile pie pans and such to extract it. Isn’t chaos inherent to kitchen chores?


Maybe Zelko has a point. Still, I am not happy about the change.


Nor am I pleased that I’m under pressure to swap out my white refrigerator, stove, dishwasher and oven for stainless steel ones. Not from Zelko; he makes no money from new appliances and therefore hasn’t dismissed my ideas of keeping the snow-colored matching set. Yet he did enlighten me as to what other American consumers buy: stainless steel, even though everyone I know who has the shiny silver finish says it always look smudged. I’d be in the minority; I believe 10 percent of new-kitchen owners choose white. Why is white bad?


At least beds and toilets and forks won’t change. Oh, there are those ever-popular futons – although I’ve managed to avoid the Japanese-influenced storable mattresses for 25 years. I’m mighty comfy on my old-fogey box spring/mattress set, thank you. Unless I don’t know it and futons have been replaced by a different type of miracle mattress. Oh heavens, what am I supposed to sleep on? Can I ask #somebody on Twitter? Can I store it in a cabinet?